February 20, 2012


I can't believe it has been almost a month since I posted here. I would say that the time has just flown by, but I think, in fact, the opposite was true. During the deep midwinter here life seems to just slow to a crawl. I guess you could say I've been hibernating.

In the past month I've felt the need to do a lot of quiet, "homey" things. I started sewing again after a Christmas burnout. I've taken up knitting for the upteenth time (but this time I think I might actually get the hang of it). I've cooked almost all of our meals from scratch. And I've started reading again after a post-natal hiatus of about seven months. I don't think I've ever gone so long without reading a novel in my entire adult life, but in the past month I've more than made up for it. I must have read a dozen books since the New Year--wonderful, thoughtful, lose-yourself-in-the-story kinds of books--and it felt, oh, so good!

But we haven't been completely holed up at home, mind you. The kids and I go out nearly every day: to Waldorf School and the farmer's market and play dates and museums. I've actually had to put the brakes on some of our adventuring just so that I can be sure we stay home at least two days a week. For the sake of their well-being (and mine) we need full days of "down time" to recuperate. If I were being really conscientious I will schedule one day at home for every day spent out on the town--one "in breath" for every "out breath"--but I am not disciplined enough for that.

Still, I've tried to make plenty of room for those quiet moments at home, so that when Archer wakes up from his nap we can spend half an hour in bed just giggling. So that when Colin says, "Mama, let's make bread," I have the time to let that five-hour process unfold--and the patience for all of his toddler shenanigans with my measuring cups. So that I can take the time to help Colin learn how to put together a jigsaw puzzle or to look at the same board book with Archer over and over and over again. Because I know these quiet days won't last forever. Soon I will be back at work and I will have to move heaven and earth to find such leisure in our days again.

In addition to all of our going out and staying in, I've spent a lot of time soul-searching this past month. A few weeks ago we found out that changes at our old day care mean that we are no longer guaranteed spots for Colin and Archer when I return to work. I cannot begin to express how this has turned our world upside-down. Since then we've visited countless day care centres, looked into hiring a nanny--we've even considered keeping me at home. We've thought about renting other homes in other neighbourhoods--we've even toured a couple of houses we'd considered buying (and we were not previously thinking of buying a home). Literally every single aspect of our lives has been up for reconsideration because, really, if you can't feel good about where your children spend the bulk of their day nothing else really matters, does it?

None of those concerns is settled yet, but nonetheless I feel the mood here shifting. The days are getting longer and warmer, and the kids and I are moving into new interests and routines. This is all just to say that I plan to be back here more often in the days to come (in fact, I've got posts planned every weekday for the next two weeks!). This is all just to say I am coming out of "hibernation."

1 comment:

Vicky said...

My blog is on a go slow at the mo too. I have too much other stuff to do before I find time to blog. I hope you enjoy your hibernation and that you can resolve your daycare problems soon. xx