October 17, 2011

Worst. Mother. Ever.

I am the worst mother ever.

No, don't bother arguing with me. I am. What kind of mother let's her two-year-old son ride in the bassinet stroller meant for an infant?

At least, that's what all the bystanders in the Denver Airport were no doubt thinking when they saw Colin dive head-first out of said stroller and onto the concrete floor. It was a pretty bad fall. So bad, in fact, that after the blood was cleaned up and we flew on to Little Rock and had him checked out by a pediatric dentist (at 8:00 p.m. on a Friday night, thank you very much), it was clear that it had pushed one of his front teeth an inch deep into is gums and sent the other jutting out at a hideous angle.

I am devestated. I know I shouldn't care that much about my child's looks. I mean, thank God, he's OK. But still, it's his smile. His beautiful, beautiful smile, which would bring compliments from strangers on the street and which could melt my heart no matter what troublesome thing he had just done. Now my heart breaks just a little every time he cracks his snaggletooth grin because it just looks so awful and reminds me of what a terrible mother I am.

After all, it's all my own fault. I let Colin ride in Archer's stroller like that even though I knew it was a bad idea, but at the time I thought, "What the hell? It'll keep him from getting into worse trouble."

I suppose I can be a little cavalier about things like that. Colin is an extremely energetic, extremely athletic little boy, and he comes from a long line of such boys (on my side). In my opinion a boy like that has to learn he own limits through experience. They won't listen to anyone. Kevin takes the opposite tack, but then he comes from a long line of men for whom physical activity means turning the pages of a book or building a motherboard. If we disagree about anything in our parenting (and we disagree about very little), it's that I think Colin needs a long leash and Kevin doesn't like him to step too close to a second-floor railing.

But, of course, Kevin is right. And I could see it in his eyes when he returned from that ill-fated Starbucks run I sent him on to find me cradling our oldest son all covered in blood. So from now on, no one gets to have any fun. Ever. At least not on my watch.


Orla said...

Oh Sarah! Please don't beat yourself up about it.
Im sure that Sean was lucky not to have concussion after he fell from the shopping cart - into which I put him the wrong way. All to keep him out of 'worse trouble'.
It really is horrible feeling seeing our little guys hurt.
Sending you some hugs.

Shelagh said...

Boys falling on their faces seems pretty common. While it bleeds a lot, it heals quickly too. Teeth pushing into gums, also common. Scraped noses...all of that. Your story is actually bringing back some memories for me! Don't be so hard on yourself. :)

Rachel said...

Dear Sarah,
I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling right now, seeing your little boy in pain. I am with Orla. Please do not beat yourself up over this. When you get back here, I'll give you a big hug. And I'll show you a photo of my little brother, the one who jammed both of his teeth back into his gums. I want you to see his beautiful smile.

Bonnie said...

Hi, I'm Bonnie, and I lurk your blog. I've commented before, but not very often.

Anyways, just wanted to tell you not to feel bad! My son fell at my grandma's and got an inch gash in his forehead that needed stitched up. The surgeon said it will be noticeably pink for a couple years. I hated the first few pictures I took after it happened, but now I hardly notice it. It's a part of him and his crazy personality.

Vicky said...

Poor Colin and poor you. Don't blame yourself, these things happen and its what dentists are for (I think! I hope!)and I know exactly how you feel. Baylie has a green tooth & a missing one due to falls. Ria has broken of part her front tooth with her bike! So there are no pretty smiles in my house either.

Jim ( of Jim and Kat ) said...

You are by no means the worst mother ever and accidents happen. His baby teeth will fall out and that smile will return to annoyingly perfect.

BTW, the worst mother ever would not care like you obviously do.

Sarah said...

Thanks, everyone. Now that the swelling's going down, it's starting to look better, although he still has a lisp :(

And Vicky, I thought about you and Bailie right after this happened, and it did bring me some comfort to know that little kids do this sort of thing all the time--and they still do look cute with messed-up front teeth ;)

Vicky said...

Don't know if I should feel flattered or ashamed that my daughters mashed up mouth was one of your 1st thoughts! LMAO!